Rule 10 - ‘How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time.’
So you’ve spent the first three dates pretty much sitting in front of a man, pretending you don’t give a flying fuck what he has to say, insisting he pay for everything, while telling yourself you’re an amazing woman with marvellous hair. You may have let him near your front door, you may have even kissed him on the cheek but you certainly haven’t allowed him near your back door or showed him your boobs or let him anywhere near your lady parts. Astonishingly, he still reckons you’re worth pursuing so you go out for a fourth time. But now what?
Now you’re allowed to talk about your feelings.
‘How are you?’
‘COLD. EMOTIONAL. I FEEL EMPTY. I FEEL NOTHING. How are you?’
oh wait. You’re allowed to discuss your feeling but nothing too heavy. Apparently if his dog died or his football team lost, you can show sympathy but don’t go fucking overboard. Don’t be all ‘ I LOVE BREAKING BAD’ because he might not watch it and then you’ll just be the chick who doesn’t share his interests.
WORDS NOT TO SAY TO A MAN BECAUSE THEY WILL BECOME SCARED AND UNABLE TO MARRY YOU ONE DAY:
- THE FUTURE.
- Anal bleaching.
- Settling down.
- Pot Noodle.
- Poo. Or fart. Or wee wee. (unless you’re French)
Memorise this. It could be the difference between a life of manipulated happiness or a life of being yourself.